I Have Nothing to Offer a Man

I have nothing to offer a man.  It's all very true.  People ask me why I haven't attempted to date as of late (--well late meaning 12 years).  Friends and family feel they have to automatically start listing all the 'good' qualities I posses blah, blah, blah.  

Look, I'm a realist.  I haven't been out on a date in 12 years.  Why?  Because I still have shit to work out in my life.  

Here's my reality:  1)  I live at home.  I live at home to help out my parents with their financial situation.  I also benefit in this arrangement as I'm also paying off students loans from my second round of college.  2)  Since my last date 12 years ago I've gained over 40 pounds.  Some of it has to do with the fact that I quit smoking and drinking.  But I'm pretty sure it has to do with emotional eating combined with pure laziness.  3)  I always think of that line from Madonna's song, 'Secret--..Until I learned to love myself, I was never, ever lovin' anybody else.'  Well there's no point in attempting to bring someone into my life if I don't give a shit about my own.  4)  Now comes the deep, dark, secret;  I'm seeing a therapist.  Hell, if it's taken me 12 years to come to terms with the fact that I need to see someone to sort of my emotional shit, then that's where I need to focus myself these days.  

Do I really want to explain all of this to everyone?  No, not really.  So I just say, "It's all right.  When it's meant to be, it'll happen."